It has been exactly a week from the first day I went back to work.

Today, despite not completing a full day of 9 to 5, I am absolutely wrecked. I had MATLAB classes from 1 to 5, attended group therapy from 6 to 730 and finally dinner with a friend till 10. If you didn't already know, you could be sat in a chair all day but have a 100% focus on a brain-taxing task for 2 hours, and I assure you, you will be wrecked to the floor! Today, that is me. I am total wreckage.

I haven't attended group therapy in a long while (perhaps for 6 months). At group therapies, we take turns to talk about our problems at the start of the session. This is known as "Checking in". It's exactly like the Facebook home page, 'What's on your mind?'

It's funny how our day-to-day conversations have moved on from 'conversations' to 'web chats' and posting statuses addressed vaguely to anyone who is out there on your "friends" list. Deep down in our core, we need deeper connections. We need someone to ask us what's on our mind, so that we can communicate and more importantly, connect. When we write our thoughts as an online status, we end up doubting and questioning ourselves. More than often, when I post something online, I think who is going to be looking at it, and do people really care?

I want someone to ask me. To approach and genuinely show me that they want to know. Then on, I can comfortably be assured that the person I telling my story to isn't judging me silently from afar and I'm not exposing myself to the world. I am simply building a connection and a level of trust with this person. These are crucial human needs that separates us from every other living being.

Just like every person posting about Trump at this time of the year, my patience has thinned out to repetitive issues that pop up during group therapy. Group therapy can feel repetitive after you've attended a certain amount of therapy sessions with a group of 6 or more people (whom the people in the group often switch). It is helpful because it brings us to realise that we're all basically the same, but it is repetitive because we are all essentially the same.

We have the same relationship problems, self-esteem issues, confusion between where you are now and where you want to be. We undergo the same problems even at different ages. We all fear something. And the best way to learn is to help each other through methods that have worked. The answer to every problem is a formula. It is theoretical and it is almost always structured the same way. The most difficult part in applying a practical approach is that our emotional portion gets the better of us.

Everyone thinks they know better. The truth is, ideally we should learn from the mistakes of others. Now, the quote 'learning from others' must've stemmed from somewhere because people make the same mistakes! This is why we've all come down to this very point again - it is important to talk to one another about our problems.

Group therapy is basically a community of people having gathered together because some person with a medical/psychological degree realised - we all now severely need an excuse to gather and meet and have a reason to talk about ourselves.

So, let us gather and talk because we're the only beings with emotional intelligence.

Our brains can do wonders if we allow it. Anxiety and depression limits the potential of our brain narrowing our thoughts. We just need to give our brain a much needed break and be very kind with it. It's adapting and doing the best it can with what it has right now. (Image source: http://everybodyhasabrain.tumblr.com/)

Genuinely,
Rachel W.

P.S. I'd love to hear if anyone reading this has felt the same way or feel they can relate to what I talk about. Just leave me a comment if you'd like to just say hi or add to the discussion. Let's keep this going!