During the past winter break, I wrote an essay for my Philosophy supplementary course (Yes, i ended up taking philosophy!) entitled 'Can a Machine become Conscious?'. In all honesty, yes I do strongly believe a machine can be conscious. Why? Because I believe that the humans are intelligent beings who can create a conscious machine. It's only a matter of time. Because I have HOPE.

No, of course I didn't say that in my essay. I had to reason it out. So I came up with the best answer: POSSIBLY.

I had another question in mind following that essay - Why would a machine want to be conscious?

Yes, i am VERY VERY AWARE THAT THE QUESTION IS FLAWED. Don't be all philosophical on me and shoot me down. In order for one to want consciousness, it has to be conscious.
Can a machine think logically and want without being conscious?

Yeah, philosophy kinda fucks you up mentally.

There is a lot I still have to learn. I'm still growing as a person even though i like to think that I'm matured beyond my years when the adults talk to me like I'm a child. Maybe i'm not ready. Maybe I would never be. How can one trust a person so much? How do i have so much doubt that I don't have space to be happy.

Love is great. Love is beautiful. Love is pure. Love should be happy without dark thoughts and bad memories. I made the mistake of hating love before. Blaming vulnerability on love. Blaming hurt and expectations on love.

I will take this as a lesson and grow from it. I do not blame you or anyone. I'm just not ready and not matured enough. I love you and care for you like everyone I love and care about. But like everyone of them, I moved on to a different continent and saw less.

The Chinese New Year advertisements always get to me. I miss my family but I must be brave. Being here, I realised that no matter how miserable things may be, there is always a lighter way to look at things. I may not spend the New Year with my family, but i had the next best thing; my friends and I am so thankful for that.

People are always changing. They adapt to the ever changing environment. So, don't ever expect anyone to stay the same. If you're lucky, you'll like the change. I'm not happy with who i've changed into. I want to change my environment to be a different person again.

I want to be a person who believes in greatness and happiness. The chance to achieve the best with hard work and not someone who just assumes the worst. To know when to give up and stop trying when my happiness is at stake. To be willing to take risks and not be disappointed by the outcome.

I strive to give a 100% in life but I have failed. Now, i'm moving on to the next chapter to start again.